Anniversary gifts by year, and a song for any year

Paper for the first year, silver for the twenty-fifth, gold for the fiftieth. The traditional list of anniversary gifts by year takes some of the guesswork out of choosing, and it sets a fun challenge: how do you make tin romantic? Below you will find the traditional themes year by year, ideas for each, and one gift that fits any chapter of your story.

How the list of anniversary gifts by year works

Linking anniversaries to materials is an old custom. Silver and gold wedding anniversaries were marked in parts of Europe as far back as the sixteenth century, and in the English-speaking world the list kept growing through the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, with jewelers and retailers adding a theme for almost every year.

There is no single official list of traditional anniversary gifts, and the American and British versions differ in several early years. The list below follows the American traditional one, with British differences noted in brackets. From the fifteenth anniversary on, the two agree. Many stores also publish their own "modern" lists, so treat any theme as inspiration, not a rule.

Years one to five

1st: paper (UK: cotton or paper). A first anniversary paper gift can be as simple as a love letter, framed. Tickets to a show, a book with a note inside, a print of the map where you met, a photo book of your first year.

2nd: cotton (UK: paper or cotton). Soft sheets, a cotton robe, a quilt, a picnic blanket with a date for your first summer picnic.

3rd: leather. A wallet, a journal, a watch strap, a leather-bound travel diary for your next trip together.

4th: fruit and flowers (UK: linen or silk). A fruit tree for the garden, a bouquet delivered every month, a farm-to-table dinner. For the British theme, a linen tablecloth for dinners at home or a silk scarf.

5th: wood. A carved sign with your names, a wooden keepsake box, a weekend in a cabin in the woods.

Between the fifth and tenth years, the American list continues with iron (6th), wool or copper (7th), bronze (8th) and pottery (9th). The British list gives sugar for the sixth year and copper for the ninth.

Years ten to twenty-five

10th: tin (US lists often add aluminum). A 10th anniversary gift can be humbler than it sounds: a vintage tin filled with ten notes, one for each year, or a tin of the cookies you ate on your first date.

11th to 14th: steel, silk, lace and ivory. British lists pair silk with fine linen for the twelfth. For the fourteenth, ivory today means the color, never the real thing: cream stationery, an ivory-toned print, a pale cashmere sweater.

15th: crystal. Crystal glasses, and a bottle worth opening in them.

20th: china. A dinner set, a single beautiful teapot, or, if you want to take it literally, a trip to China.

25th: silver. The silver anniversary is the first big milestone. A 25th anniversary gift might be engraved silver jewelry, a silver frame with your wedding photo, or a party with the friends who were there on the day.

Milestone years: 30, 40, 50 and 60

The later milestones are often celebrated with the whole family, and the gift may well come from the children.

• 30th: pearl. Pearl earrings or a necklace, or a trip to the sea.
• 35th: coral. Coral-colored flowers, or a trip somewhere with a reef to snorkel.
• 40th: ruby. Ruby jewelry, red roses, or a bottle of red wine from the year you married.
• 45th: sapphire. A sapphire ring or pendant, or a weekend by deep blue water.
• 50th: gold. The golden anniversary calls for a gathering, a family photo book of fifty years, and perhaps a gold keepsake.
• 55th: emerald. Emerald jewelry, or a trip somewhere green and quiet.
• 60th: diamond. A diamond anniversary is rare and precious. The best gift is usually everyone they love in one room.

If you are writing a card for your parents' milestone, our anniversary wishes and messages can help you find the words.

Gifts that fit any year

Themes are fun, but some gifts work whatever the number:

• A letter about the year that has just passed
• A return visit to the place you met or had your first date
• A photo book with one page for every year together
• A dinner that recreates your wedding menu
• A song about your story

For more ideas beyond the traditional list, see our anniversary gift ideas that tell your story.

A song for the years so far

A song works in any year. For a first anniversary, it can be about the wedding day and the first home. For a 25th or a 50th, it can cover the whole journey: how you met, the children, the moves, the jokes that still work after all this time. It is also a lovely gift from children to parents on a milestone anniversary.

It can even fit the theme. For the paper anniversary, print the lyrics, give them in a card and then press play.

This is for my parents, Anna and Ben, who celebrate 40 years this June. They met at a bus stop in the rain, and Dad still carries an umbrella big enough for two. They raised three kids, moved house five times, and still dance in the kitchen on Sunday mornings. We want a warm jazz song about the journey so far, with a wish for many more rainy days together.

The song arrives by email within 24 hours, so order at least a day before the anniversary. When you have your story, you can create your anniversary song here.